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The Home of the 4 Hour Investor Grade Business Plan. Faster investor quality documentation using HyperQuestions. The childs team attends the. So far. our family has had success with Amandas education in our district. She has been fully enrolled in standard district programs Early Childhood. We have been able to get the district to agree, with minimal. IEPs. Over the. years, many parents have told me battle stories about their childrens. IEPs. They comment on how different Amandas experience. Maybe so. Certainly. Success truly breeds success. I can take. no credit for the marvelous daughter God gave me. However. Amanda would not have been able to be successful if the right opportunities. This is where good advocacy can make all. Advocacy. v. Parenting. Advocacy. is by its nature, a cerebral activity and involves great thought and. Parenting is by nature a visceral activity that involves. I know. first hand how the feelings that come with children, especially disabled. No words can adequately explain. We belong. to a select club, an elite group of people, who speak a foreign language. IEP, OT, PT other parents do not. We emit sensitive radar that only those of our own kind can detect. For the. sakes of our children, we must strive to be patient with those whose. It is our. duty to lead these people to a fuller understanding of the beauty and. To do this, we must become effective advocates. Learning. About Rules and Strategies. Good advocacy. often works like a game. I do not suggest that advocating for the needs. It is just that the method of. If you. learn and apply these rules, you can reduce the risk that is inherent. I liken this to the difference. Playing. Poker. Poker is. a stimulating game of wager. The fun, the skill and the whole game is. In truth, the cards make only a marginal difference to the. It is not what you have in your hand that matters. Every hand. is a winner, and every hand is a loser. By manipulating the other players. You do not really need to have a strategy for the cards. And. Playing Hearts. Hearts. is different. Hearts is all about having a strategy for the cards how. What the other players think or feel. Yes, there. is minimal bluffing, but at tremendous risk. This is because everyone. However, the rules. In fact. the best hand at hearts is the worst hand played skillfullyIf you. have a wretched hand, and take every trick, you end up winning the round Moreover, even if your round goes badly, the game keeps going, hand. Thinking. Like a Poker Player. Many parents. and advocates involved in IEPs use poker language to describe. They have come to believe that districts, overall, do not. IEPs, and that they will cheat. They do. not want to tip their hand or show their cards. They talk about the personalities of the school administrators and staff. Are they bluffing What are their cards Are they holding back Do they. care about my childDo they care about disabled kids in general When parents. feel like they have to battle educators for benefits, they lose confidence. When parents lose confidence in their educators. A siege. mentality sets in, lines are drawn, and the parties toss therapies and. They wager with the childs. This. is why playing poker at an IEP does not work for the children. Learning. to Make Deals. Like hearts. advocating in an IEP might take many deals. The players, sometimes with. What progress. has the child made in school What skills does he or she have now What. are the demands of the next gradeHow well equipped is the district. What resources do the parents haveMost of. the answers to these questions are known to most of the parties at the. Unlike poker, which allows for more uncertainty to sweeten the. IEPs leave little to bluffing. Either. the child has abilities in certain areas, or he does not. Either she. can attend in a regular education setting, or she cannot. Either the. staff is prepared to deal effectively with this particular disability. And so on. A skillful advocate, like a skillful hearts. Eight. Steps to Better IEP Meetings Here are. These steps will help the parent negotiator. They will also help you prepare a solid case when negotiating with district. Make every attempt to sustain relationships. Like the. many hands in a hearts game, IEP negotiations play out over time. A. game of cards is always more enjoyable when played in a group that likes. Try to get to know and personally connect to. Whether. or not we personally like our childs teachers, school psychologist. If we move, we will be stuck with. Or new, difficult people. In any. event, we have to learn to work with people we do not understand, agree. They are there, and will be there all year. Getting personally angry with them, even if they deserve. Now hostility. can have its place, as in a lawsuit or a Due Process Hearing. However. if parties get that far in their fights, any chance for a working relationship. Since it is in the best interests of our children to have a. We cannot. lead a team we do not join. It is not. enough to come into a meeting, periodically and make demands even legitimate. We must model the behavior we want to draw out. IEP team. If we want. Before. we make any demands on a team member, we must ask ourselves, Am. I asking of this person something I have not done, or am not willing to. If someone did something helpful, remember to say thank you When we. Keep the focus on the childs needs, not the districts resources or. Under the. Individuals with Disabilities in Education Act IDEA, Congress set. At its core. IDEA is designed to make sure that disabled children have access to. The United. States Supreme Court has been relentless in their insistence that IDEA. If a child is getting a meaningful. IDEA has done its job. Most schools. pride themselves on doing more than passing work for their students. Clearly, those with the highest expectations. This is why we are here. Yet, many. parents engage in the IEP process without having tangible educational. Without a plan, the. IEP, school staff, and parents will flounder. Let me. share an example. Our goal for Amanda is to teach her to function as. We do not expect the District. Each decision made for her educational. This simplifies things. When we. read a map, we have a starting point and a destination. We plan our. routes and back up routes from these two variables. Get. Independent Evaluations. How do. you know where you are beginning Get the child tested and find out Parents must obtain independent medical andor developmental assessments. Without clinical data, there is no reliable. Yes, these. tests are often burdensome and expensive. Do them anyway. Our childrens. How can we decide. These evaluations. They force parents to understand the precise. This. is especially true if the nature of the disability has a hidden educational. IDEA only. requires school districts to pay for special services like speech, occupational. In other words, the disability has to effect learning. I emphasize. the need to have independent clinical medical, psychological, and or. Because IDEA. has provisions, which, under certain circumstances, require school districts. However. school district evaluations are still school district material. If there. is a hearing or lawsuit, these tests are crucial evidence.